


We're a Couple of Misfits

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Descendants (2015), Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairytales, Bittersweet, Crossover, Friendship, Gen, Hugs, Life Happens, Nonbinary!Boone (implied), Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2016-05-28
Packaged: 2018-07-10 16:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6992746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Penn and Boone are asked to meet Sashi's parents, it's not for the excuse most people expect. And what they uncover is something they should have seen coming...</p><p>...but this is just another chapter in their story together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're a Couple of Misfits

**Author's Note:**

> I'M TRASH, GOODBYE, FRIENDS, I'VE ASCENDED TO A NEW LEVEL. also like I haven't had caffeine in a week so idk if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

“I told you guys I can shapeshift,” Sashi hissed. “Why are you so surprised?”

Penn and Boone glanced at one another, then back to their best friend — who’s appearance was vastly different from the one they knew her for. In fact, she looked more monster than man. And something in the boys’ incredibly thick skulls refused to register that this was Sashi’s true form. Her feet were abnormally large, while a tail self-consciously curled around her waist, tiny wings peeked out of her leather jacket and her nose seemed more like a snout; all of it the same shade of brown as her hair and eyes.

“It’s just … not you,” Penn trailed off.

“Yes, it is,” Sashi pressed, her tone of voice almost vicious. “My mother was one of Maleficent’s goons, you morons. Have you ever seen them up close? They’re … like this,”

Boone shook his head, still trying to process this. “Okay, so — like, is this demon puberty or something?”

“I’m not a _demon_ —”

“Because I can totally poof you back to normal! I learned how—”

“ _No_!” Penn and Sashi screamed in unison. Boone instantly backed off, hands in the air to show he was nowhere near his wand.

Sashi let out a groan. “I have to meet with my mother today,” she said between gritted teeth. “It’s Parents’ Day? Unlike you two, I don’t have the pleasure of mingling with the rest of the school and shooting arrows or firing off spells or …. whatever it is.”

“Who else has you seen like this?” Penn mused.

“Does it matter?” Sashi challenged, her eyes doing their classic flashing where they mimicked phases of the moon.

Penn shrugged, glancing at Boone — who did the same. “I guess if you don’t care, then we don’t,” he said.

“Good,” Sashi huffed, brushing past Penn and plopping herself onto the coffee table smack dab in the middle of the boys’ dorm. “So,” She crossed her legs, eyeing her two best friends. “Will you two do me a favor? And no, Boone, it doesn’t involve magic.”

“Aw, darn,” Boone said. “I gotta spread my wings and figure this stuff out, y’know!”

Penn gave a smile to his friend. “You will, buddy, don’t worry,” he assured. “What can we do for you, Sash?”

Sashi’s eyes were dead cold and she never broke her gaze from the boys. There was a pause, almost unnaturally long, before she blurted it out: “I need you to pretend you’re both evil.”

“What?!” Penn immediately squeaked out. “Okay, w-wait, lemme word that better — _why_?!”

“It shouldn’t be hard for you, Mr. Son of Thieves,” Sashi shot back.

“Do I get to use magic?” Boone piped up, his tiny lavender wings buzzing a little.

“No!” came from both of his friends again.

Boone frowned, crossing his arms and grumbling something along the lines of _“You guys don’t let me do anything cool,”_ before Penn cut him off. He stepped forward, almost looming over Sashi, despite the fact she was the one with the intimidating appearance.

“Why do we need to pretend we’re evil?” he asked, almost suspiciously.

Sashi sighed, almost shamefully looking away. “Because,” she grumbled. “My parents want me to make friends while I’m here, and obviously, they have to be evil friends. Evil like me. Or — well, like what I’m supposed to be. They want to hear stories about me putting hexes on King Ben and his friends, getting away with grand schemes, stupid stuff like that. And because today is Parents’ Day,” She trailed off, letting the boys figure out the rest.

A soft _“oh”_ escaped Penn, and he glanced to Boone, who was still mulling over the no magic deal.

“So basically,” Penn mumbled. “You want me to say I’m stealing from everyone in Auradon and Boone can, just, I dunno, say he’s zapping people left and right?”

“More or less,” Sashi admitted shamefully. “Look, I’m sorry I have to make you guys do this,”

“We won’t have a problem,” Boone declared. “ _If_ we use one of the Boonester’s ideas,”

Penn sighed. “Don’t refer to yourself as ‘the Boonester’,” he interjected. “You’re the only one who thinks that nickname is cool.”

Boone pointed a finger at his roommate. “Don’t question my methods,” he said. “Okay, so how to impress Mama K? I think I’ve got just the spell for this—” He chuckled, producing his wand from his cape and twirling it in mid-air.

The look of fear from his friends was expected…

 

_**~ ~ ~ ~** _

 

_Slam!_

The grand doors were shut and locked, a soft huff as the final accent.

“Did you really think that was a good idea?” Penn muttered, slowly getting to his feet. “Go up to Fairy Godmother, who’s like, your super distant cousin, and ask her to zap us so we look like we’re straight out of the Underworld?!”

“She owes me a lot of favors!” Boone argued. “I thought she’d do it in the name of friendship or whatever!”

Sashi flashed back to her natural form, and growled, baring her fangs. “Forget it, guys,” she grumbled. “Your parents are going to be here soon, my video call’s going to come in at any minute — we’re out of time.”

“No,” Penn affirmed, stretching out his hand and helping Sashi up. “If you want our help, we’ll give it to you.”

Boone winced and groaned a few times as he used his hilariously small wings to get himself up. “Yeah,” he assured, giving a nod. “And seeing how this happened,” He reached behind him, pulling out a wand broken in half, hanging on by a thread. “No magic, I guess.”

Sashi rolled her eyes, frowning as her watch beeped. “That’s my cue,” she sighed.

“We’ve got your back, Sash,” Penn assured.

“Yeah!” Boone echoed. “But, quick question, on a scale of baby dragon to gremlin, how scary is your mom?”

“There is no scale,” Sashi grumbled, extending her wings. “Penn, hop on. Boone, can you follow us to King Ben’s castle and meet us there in five minutes?”

His wings buzzing with either excitement or fright, maybe a strange combination of both, Boone zipped up ahead of them; screaming _“Boone-meister out!”_ during his takeoff. Both Penn and Sashi rolled their eyes at how ridiculous their friend was. Penn hesitantly wrapped his arms around Sashi’s neck, hoisting himself up a little when she began to flutter up.

“What — do you give rides often or something?” he joked as they began to soar above the school.

“I used to give them to my little brother all the time back home,” she mused. “And he weighs more than you. What are you, ninety pounds soaking wet?”

Penn huffed away the playful jab. “You have a little brother?” he asked.

Sashi nodded. “Yup,” she sighed. “And a father, along with a string of dead pets, all of them named Ruth.”

“How come you always hide things?”

The statement was blurted out, hanging in the air that they soared in. Sashi swallowed, beginning to glide towards a random balcony of the grand castle in the center of Auradon. Her heels click-clacked across the porcelain and Penn let go, stumbling behind her.

Sashi sighed, her eyes doing the phases of the moon all over again. “Because I’m still not used to it, Penn,” she admitted. “I’m not used to all of this … goodness. Even you, you’re a saint compared to what I’m supposed to be. And—” She sighed, shaking her head. “Let’s get this over with. And again, thank you.”

They both instantly dashed into the Castle once they heard the familiar whizzing and screaming. Soon following was Boone, falling into a heap on the platform.

Penn bolted over, helping up his friend. “That was way better than the other twenty-six crash landings, buddy,” he said.

“Twenty-seven,” Boone muttered, obviously dizzy from the impact. “Or is it twenty-teen? Is that even a number?”

“Sashi Kobayashi?” a soft, faint voice squeaked out.

“Ugh, cousin Glinda,” Boone grumbled, ignoring the slight kick from Penn. “What?”

Sashi shot a quick glare to her rambunctious friends, and managed a shaky smile. “That’s me,” she said meekly. “I’m here for the meeting.” She hesitated, gesturing to the boys. “They’re my guests. I want them to meet my parents.”

The fairy nodded, fluttering further into the castle with the three teens right behind her.

And even from the other room, they could hear the bickering of unfamiliar voices.

“Sylvester, you’ve got the camera backwards—”

“No, I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Oh, for badness’ sake, the girl’s going to think we’re morons—”

“Tia, our daughter has a name.”

“I know that, dearie,”

Penn and Boone didn’t think Sashi was capable of seeming shy and demure, but once under the gaze of her parents through advanced technology, it was actually a little disturbing. She cleared her throat, hands folded behind her back and almost rocking back and forth on her heels.

“Hi, mom and dad,” she said.

“Hi, sweetie,”

“Hello, dear,”

Penn and Boone almost went still as statues under the haunting gaze of the Kobayashi matriarch. Sashi was right, there was no scale to describe the horrifying beauty that was her mother. She looked much like her daughter, the sharp flickering brown eyes and half-smirk half-smile, but she had far more monster features. Mr. Kobayashi, on the other hand, seemed completely normal and almost kind — human, even; the polar opposite of his brooding wife.

Sashi stammered ( _actually, genuinely_ stammered) and gestured to the boys. “These are my friends,” she said, nodding slightly to beckon them closer. “Penn and Boone.”

“Uh, heh, yup,” Boone mumbled, shuffling next to Sashi. “Her bestest friends in all of Auradon.”

“Something like that,” Penn retorted, almost swaggering over. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. K.”

“Please, Sylvester and Tia to you kids,” Mr. Kobayashi assured, with a low chuckle.

“Yes,” Tia crooned, flicking her wrist to reveal her fingernails that resembled claws. “Any friend of our daughter’s is a friend of ours as well. So,” She squinted a little. “Is that a pixie?”

Boone harrumphed, his hands clenching into fists. “I’ll have you know, ma’am, that the P word is a derogatory term and the fairy race is proud and strong—”

Sashi cleared her throat rather loudly. “Yup!” she declared. “Boone here is a fairy. Future godfather—”

“Godperson,” Boone corrected.

“Right, sorry,” she said. “In line to fill Fairy Godmother’s shoes. But, y’know, he’s not into that sort of thing. Are you, Boone?” She slightly nudged him. “You love wreaking havoc, don’t you? Like the time you gave Penn magical cookies and had him fall in love with the King for a good week and a half, right? Or when you spelled people’s report cards to read all F’s? And replaced one of the professors’ hair with worms?”

These were true stories, but Boone was frowning heavily — unable to react properly to Sashi’s sudden desperation and nervousness.

Sylvester let out a soft murmur of curiosity. “Very impressive,” he mused.

Tia snorted. “Late bloomer?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Boone admitted, glancing to Sashi.

She gave a silent apology with the look in her eyes, before turning to face her parents. “So, Boone is … well, he’s Boone,” she said, with a nervous flamboyance to her voice. “And, uh, Penn, he’s a thief.”

“Technicalities,” Penn muttered.

“I would know Madam Yvonne’s son anywhere,” Tia mused. “Following in your mother’s footsteps, are you?”

“Trying to,” Penn said, lying through his teeth. “How do you know my mother?”

Tia gave a toothy grin, crooked fangs making all three teens wince. “Long story,” she said. “You’ve made some decent choices, Sashi, sweetie. I was getting a little worried they were going to poison you with all of their goodness, especially after seeing your class picture.”

She tittered out a laugh, ignoring her husband’s groan.

“I mean, just look at you,” Tia said, snapping her fingers and a small purple flame caused a photograph to appear in her clawed hand. “So human. So normal. Don’t you give those brats a good hex?”

In that moment, the boys saw Sashi break out into a cold sweat. Her mouth moved but no words came out. Her parents were … different. If they thought she was ruthless, her mother and father were worse. They were pushing, demanding — Sashi was just forceful. And she got it from them, it was plain to see. She was tough and rude, but never mean. Her parents wanted her to be something else. Her mother, especially; the manipulative aura she bestowed was strange, to say the least.

Sashi gave a quick nod. “Yes, ma’am,” she said. “I’ve been practicing my shapeshifting.”

Tia nodded, giving a slightly amused smile. “Of course you are, sweetie,” she replied. Judging from her tone of voice, she clearly didn’t believe her daughter. “And our time’s up! Stay wicked, we love you!”

Her mother and father waved in unison just before the screen went black.

“Alright,” Sashi grumbled, shoving away from the boys and shuffling off.

“Hey, wait,” Boone said. “What now?”

There was a white flash and Sashi turned on her heel to face them in her typical look. “We go back to … whatever we had before today’s stupidity,” she grumbled. “We go back to normal, I guess. You two can go see your parents now, I’m gonna go to my dorm.”

She headed for the same balcony she had landed on, hopping up onto the ledge — only for Penn to grab her arm from behind.

“Are you okay?“ he asked.

“I'm sorry I had to lie about you guys like that,“

Penn spoke over her, but not rudely so. “Sash, it's fine. We get it.“

Sashi froze up for an instant before yanking her arm away. She stood on the ledge, teetering back and forth before she whipped around and jumped off. Instantly, her tiny arms wrapped around the boys, one around Penn and the other just barely making it around Boone.

She sighed, reluctantly letting them hug her back before she spoke. “Thanks, I guess,”

“What are friends for?” Penn laughed.

“Well, to exploit your talents, make fun of you, call you out on your—” Boone trailed off. “Oh! U-um, yeah, it was no problem, Sash.”

She playfully rolled her eyes as they all pulled away, and noticed the mischievous glimmer in Penn’s eyes.

“You’ve got that face,” she spoke up.

“Oh, I know,” Penn chuckled. “And I was thinking,”

“Now that’s dangerous,” Boone guffawed.

Penn sighed, rolling his eyes and smirking a little. “I think it’s only fair you get to meet our parents. The famous Madams Yvonne and Wendy, and well-known welder slash thief Sir Brock?” For hex’s sake, he practically trilled every word he spoke….

Sashi arched an eyebrow, just one, and folded her arms over her chest. “I guess,” she mused.

“My dad will make you a sword if he likes you,” Penn said.

“I’m in,” Sashi declared.

The sun began to rise for high noon, and legendary parents started flooding through the gates of Auradon. But what people didn’t really know was that the real legends were living and almost hidden among the crowds. However, the stories they had to showcase were astonishing — no one knew it. Not even the main stars themselves.

A minion, a thief and a fairy. What an oddball cast, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated! :)


End file.
